These are real experiences from January 2009. I have only got to the second date stage with one person. I am wondering if I will make it to date number 3.
Rules - well actually a bit of friendly advice.
1. Don't get blind drunk on the first date.
2. If you do get blind drunk on the first date don't blame it on me due to you being nervous and shy and drinking too much to compensate. Man up and handle your business.
3. On the second date do not invite me to dinner and proceed to 'cook' Batchelors Supernoodles, Prawns and frozen peas and sweet corn. This is not fine dining and it never will be. When someone offers you 2 4 1 vouchers for take them. I'm not all about expensive restaurants.
4. In the pre-date telephone conversation stage don't harp on about your ex-girlfriend, her star sign, how she drained you emotionally and financially and you'll NEVER date a Scorpio again. This is not appealing.....trust me.
5. Don't slobber over me/try to put your arm around me/walk hand in hand on our first date. I don't care if you look just like Denzel Washington...that is just too much too soon.
6. When e-mailing me try to say more than Hi. Try to spell hi correctly. Hy, hie, hay, Hei are all incorrect.
7. When e-mailing me don't call me baby....I don't find it flattering I find it annoying it assumes a level of intimacy that is not there.
8. Writing life stories are not appealing, if I want to read fiction I'll visit the library. One paragraph is more than enough thanks. Lengthy paragraphs make me think of scammers looking to take my life savings!
9. I don't want to **** you. That is not the way to start a conversation with me.
10. Pictures of your manhood how ever large/small/ are not a turn on. Only porn stars look at them lovingly and that's because they are paid to.
10. Semi naked pictures again not a turn on who has a perfect body?? Different people like different things. I personally find muscle men quite intimidating...all the light reflecting from the Johnson's baby oil slavered all over the body gives me a headache from the glare.
More to follow....
11. Don't brag about your 3 litre engine and then put £10 petrol in...it's not a good look.
ReplyDeleteHa Ha I forgot about that one!
ReplyDeleteActually it was 3.5 litres don't you know! My one's bigger than yours springs to mind.
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