Datetastic or disaster

Back out there

2010-06-11T04:17:00.000-07:00

After a short break and a brief episode of incompatibility with someone at the beginning of the year I've plucked up the courage to get back out there.

I have joined a new dating site recommended by a friend who forgot to warn me of the colourful characters on there.

A while back I promised to deal with the issue of profile pictures so here we go. All of these experiences are real and not made up for dramatic effect!

1 - A picture of a sports car although it may represent you, be your dream car or the car you aspire to own is not you it is just a picture of a car!

2 - A picture of you in a group of people....which one is you? I'd hate to be disappointed but appreciate at the same time I might be pleasantly surprised.

3 - A picture of you half naked implies that you are looking for a purely physical relationship which is not the reason most women join a dating site.

4 - I get a picture of you in sunglasses, but every picture...come on now!

5 - Pictures where you have tried unsuccessfully to edit out the woman standing beside you is a no no. Especially if the woman is wearing a wedding dress.

6 - A deliberately out of focus picture because you don't want your work colleagues to recognise you. Highly suspicious. Perhaps your name is James Bond or you are working under the pleasure of her majesty's services HMP dating...interesting

There are lots more but at this time I can't think of them all but I'll be back with more. Think I'll ask some ladies for their opinion.

I remember you!

2009-11-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

I remember you!

We went on a couple of dates last year and we hung out for a little while we had a good time.

However, it was like you could not make up your mind about what next or something/someone was holding you back.

I was trying a new thing like Joan in Girlfriends, a 3 month rule.

You were studying I was working 3 jobs and time was always an issue for both of us.

But if you do want to be with someone you make time not the sort of time where we live in each others pockets but a bit of time.

So I got bored, my self defense mechanism kicked in and I distanced myself.

So it was a surprise to hear from you 7 months after we last spoke. You seem to want to resume where we left off. I don't. Not being harsh just being real. I haven't been waiting on tenterhooks for you to finish your studies, congratulations by the way. I haven't been waiting in the little neat box marked one for later either, I've been living my life and forgot all about you.

I'm sure we'll talk on the phone, maybe even meet for a drink if the mood takes me but no more.

Was it a datetastic or disaster? It was actually a mixture of both.

I get it

2009-11-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

I met (well not met) but got talking to someone who is a friend of a friend of a friend. It was one of those moments where either you let your guard down or you find you have so many things in common that it freaks you out a bit.
Then you get to know the person a little bit more and they spend a whole lotta time deflecting conversation onto how many women hit on them constantly on a daily or even hourly basis.

So........I get it. We shared some good conversation and I thought for a minute that perhaps......

However, I've had time to think on it and I've decided I don't want to be described with in the category of another one of those women trying a ting/being a stalker/trying to be with me etc etc.

I've moved on. Conversation was nice and all but that is all it was conversation.
Onwards and upwards always, the glass is never half empty it's always half full.

The biggest and the smallest

2009-07-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

I have decided that the guys with the biggest chat have the smallest dicks.

I don't have definitive proof as I don't give the big talkers the time of day but I bet I am right!

Lots of my friends both guys and girls are single and it seems to not just be me in this dilemma of not being able to find a suitable partner.

My bullish dectector is set to high so I am just not feeling some of the approaches that are coming my way.

More to follow. I know I am due to write about photos on dating sites it is on my to do list.

Been a while

2009-07-06T13:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. I have been completely inactive on the dating front I have had a lot going on.

I also got caught up in the Michael Jackson story. I idolised Michael as a teenager and posters of him were all over my bedroom walls. I got upset at the behaviour of his father who I think caused most of the problems in Michael's life. His comments about not beating Michael but whipping him really disgusted me. I got upset at the thought of the hangers on giving him drugs and not taking care of his real needs just lining their pockets at the expense of a very very talented man. I got upset that his family were not able to intervene before it was too late. I got upset about a lot of things none of which I can change.

All I can do is celebrate the joy Michael brought to peoples lives through his music and not dwell on the bad. He really is in a better place now I just pray that the children he loved so much and tried to protect from the world get to live some sort of 'normal' life.

I feel better for getting that off my chest. Rest In Peace Michael.

Ghetto toes

2009-06-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

I know it has nothing to do with dating but someone needs to explain why the trend is for toe nails especially the big toe nail that hangs over the edge of your sandals/flip flops/summer shoes. I don't get it please explain.

Anyway rant over. I've been quiet on the dating scene I kinda got annoyed by the whole thing because I've had some bad first dates and I've not managed to get to date number two so I need to up my selection process.

Unfortunately this makes me look like I think too much of myself in the eyes of some guys which is fine because I don't even need to worry about date number one!

I got a good tip from a friend which was to get a close up picture of the face of the guy I am going to meet. All these half angles, pictures of famous people, pictures of cars everything but the guy is suspicious.

I'm going to talk about a blurry picture but I'll leave that and what pictures don't work for another time.

WTF I need to say no more to this strange and real request this is NOT made up!

2009-05-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hiya, Yes, apology’s up front it's one of those naughty requests.... If this isn't for you then I’m sorry to have disturbed you. I'm looking for an attractive, understanding lady who wouldn't mind helping me to relive some tension. All I'm asking for is to have you watch me while I play on cam. It's just a kink of mine, nothing sinister. Ideally I like to be on the phone as well. As I said, all you have to do is watch. You don’t need a cam and as for the phone, I’m not expecting any dirty talk or anything like that, just a hello to prove you are who you say you are. All strange I know but it is just a kink of mine. If I haven't offended you and you are able to help, even if you are just curious then please add me to your msn. Mine is cheekyfaceuk@blahblah.com Hope to see or hear you soon, Paul x

What's in a name?

2009-05-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

What is in a name? I find myself getting annoyed when people spell my name incorrectly even when it is written in front of them. Why would you take the time to e-mail someone on one of these 'dating' sites and call them something completely different? Makes you wonder.

Then again I think I may have upset someone by taking the mickey about how their name was spelt. I have not had a reply from this person so I can only assume they were offended.

That made me think about the shoe being on the other foot phrase. I will make a real effort to be considerate when corresponding with people......but if you spell my name wrong I WILL ignore you!

Tomorrow I'll talk about generic e-mails and how easy it is to spot them,my advice is to make an effort be original it's hard work but it may pay off and you may get the chance to serve me or some other young lady super noodles!

Basic rules of online dating

2009-05-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

These are real experiences from January 2009. I have only got to the second date stage with one person. I am wondering if I will make it to date number 3.

Rules - well actually a bit of friendly advice.

1. Don't get blind drunk on the first date.

2. If you do get blind drunk on the first date don't blame it on me due to you being nervous and shy and drinking too much to compensate. Man up and handle your business.

3. On the second date do not invite me to dinner and proceed to 'cook' Batchelors Supernoodles, Prawns and frozen peas and sweet corn. This is not fine dining and it never will be. When someone offers you 2 4 1 vouchers for take them. I'm not all about expensive restaurants.

4. In the pre-date telephone conversation stage don't harp on about your ex-girlfriend, her star sign, how she drained you emotionally and financially and you'll NEVER date a Scorpio again. This is not appealing.....trust me.

5. Don't slobber over me/try to put your arm around me/walk hand in hand on our first date. I don't care if you look just like Denzel Washington...that is just too much too soon.

6. When e-mailing me try to say more than Hi. Try to spell hi correctly. Hy, hie, hay, Hei are all incorrect.

7. When e-mailing me don't call me baby....I don't find it flattering I find it annoying it assumes a level of intimacy that is not there.

8. Writing life stories are not appealing, if I want to read fiction I'll visit the library. One paragraph is more than enough thanks. Lengthy paragraphs make me think of scammers looking to take my life savings!

9. I don't want to **** you. That is not the way to start a conversation with me.

10. Pictures of your manhood how ever large/small/ are not a turn on. Only porn stars look at them lovingly and that's because they are paid to.

10. Semi naked pictures again not a turn on who has a perfect body?? Different people like different things. I personally find muscle men quite intimidating...all the light reflecting from the Johnson's baby oil slavered all over the body gives me a headache from the glare.

More to follow....

I woke up aged 21 again...

2009-05-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

I woke up one day realised I was single and had been for a while. I decided to take the bull by the horns and start dating. I will share with you my stories which have so far mostly been disastrous and you can tell me what I should be doing to help avoid the disasters and embrace the good.